There is always a plan B or C or D if plan A does not work.
My article is not for those families who are sailing through and feel why are people refuting hard core rigorous pressurizing competition! But please read anyway so you can help someone who needs to know that there is plan B etc. 🙂 Karma , luck , efforts, abilities, motivation, good teachers, good parenting, proper nutrition, exercise, a will to get out of meagre circumstances are all factors that help a child do well at school and holistically. This is not a regular phenomenon in every child’s life. Despite of all this at times because of the severe competition and grading system, children who deserve to win also lose and that is what’s OK 🙂 and if it’s not, we can make it ok with one ability which is ‘ hard work’ and belief in one self.
If all else fails ofcourse “Jugaad ” is required and to know Jugaad is definitely a way to thrive in our world. Anywhere in the world we need it because everywhere there is going to be unreasonable pressure at times and so as Google explains jugaad
/dʒuːˈɡɑːd/
nounINDIAN
1 a flexible approach to problem-solving that uses limited resources in an innovative way.
Don’t kids need this sort of creative thinking and problem solving skill at university level and then at their jobs ? Don’t we need this in families too with our relationships? If nothing else works people use strategies that need limited resources to get by !! Yes Jugaad should be taught as the world is not always fair. Doesn’t every corporate person know this? Then why isn’t Jugaad a subject at school ( Ofcourse called strategy or something ?)
I went through a whirlwind of emotions through this movie. Cried silently and laughed out loud just like everyone else in that theatre. Just like the ICU vital signs on the monitor screen shows the coloured lines rapidly jumping up and down with changes in breathing, temperature changes , blood pressure, heart rate during a critical condition, my heart and mind kept sinking and rising with thoughts like ” The education system is changing , but not yet right. Grades are a still a priority and so is homework. After tests are done at school, kids are not asked to correct their own sheets and are given those sheets to take home along with many new assignments. This way test becomes a formality not a learning. Teachers or students are in a race to nowwhere in the larger picture. If all the kids in a teachers class don’t do well, the teacher hasn’t finished their job really and if all the children who worked hard don’t do well who is to blame ? Not the teacher but in some families and communities the child is to blame. So I come back to point that how will they correct their tests if they are not given time after the results come out ? Ivy leagues, Universities, competition to get in then competition to do well in each subject and in extra curricular activities is the focal point. Happiness is far out unless you are an excelling student in all areas. I get it, ” you work hard, you do well” ( usually this is true) What about those who work hard for a few years to get into that Ivy League take all the tuitions possible and be a topper for several years and yet slip by a few points. Then all the choices you have are not ivy leagues. Then when you attend a regular college, you don’t feel motivated enough. The icing on the cake is when you do fabulously well in that college because you have slogged it through university years, not had time to make any friends or take up many activities, you walk into a job and that job has nothing that you studied in it ?? Then you have to learn again and quite differently ! Isn’t that ironic that your brain took in so many concepts through school and college to keep competing aimlessly not getting what you want anyway, and then landing a job that was full of surprises ? A job where you learnt on ground ? Hard work never killed but lack of grit does. So don’t you think grit should be a huge subject at school and kids should be tested on that and helped to navigate their way through life with ‘ grit‘ instead of 100 concepts in history which showed war and treaties. History and global affairs could be a new subject in college and not needed to be taught in schools. Schools should probably have only personality development so that kids learn how to be better and stronger human beings.
I am sure many of us experienced the same feeling with Chhichhore. However because this issue of suicide rates being more frequent , its always on my mind, I believe I felt angry and helpless more than sad. As a child I was extremely meek and mellow. I was bullied by some school ‘friends’ I was scared and intimidated by teachers who talked in a certain way. I had no one I could open up to at school. At home, my folks were quite cool about my grades but stressed on hard work and understanding school concepts. My dad never leaves anything halfway without trying hard. He always tried to resolve issues at his work and did not just sleep over issues. He is like that even now. I think that taught me resilience. Failure never let him lose hope in me. He always taught us that there is another path if one path does not work.
Mom was always in agreement to his wise words and that made me feel they were rock solid , together and loved each other more than they loved me and my sister. Dont get me wrong. This was a good thing that they loved each other more. That made my sister and me feel we could also love someone more than we loved them. What ended up happening is that we admire our parents.
Confidence blossoms with a secure family amongst other people and circumstances for sure.
My parents stressed on one thing which was tact and how to say things versus what to say. According to dad, things change and therefore our thoughts and actions need to keep changing too. He was never of the belief that you try once and then give up. He would always say ” what ! you gave up so quickly ? Come on try again ”
As I grew older dad didn’t penalise me for mistakes but he did get angry if I made the wrong choices knowingly. He believes in honesty more than any other personality trait.
I would say dad believed more in character development than in grades. I was an average student , had issues with Numbers, and factual short informative writing. I could write pages after pages and that’s where I lost my grades as I would expand the story that needed to be told, in all directions and the main focal point would be lost till I took the reader through twists and turns.
That’s exactly what I am doing right now …. well sort of !
Ok back to point ! I love the movie as there are so many lessons in this movie. We need to bring up our children to be ready with plan A after success, plan B after being rejected, plan C if plan B does not work, plan D if C doesn’t work, plan E …. etc etc.
That’s where mindfulness comes in and we need to teach our kids to meditate, be in the moment as much as they can. Grit, resilience, patience, a balanced and equanimous state of mind along with the courage to make mistakes and fix them and make them again !
There is always another path even if one way does not work. Never give up !!
Warm wishes to all students out there who are trying ! Good luck to all those students who do their best and yet don’t get into any perfect university that matches the dreams of their families. Good luck to all those men and women who are struggling in jobs after attending the best Ivy League colleges. Good luck to those who have dyslexia, take music or art and then find themselves working super hard to compete with other musicians and artists only to find out that there is place for only two or three to stay at the top. Good luck to all those aspiring doctors and lawyers who are fabulously qualified for the job but don’t get into that perfect hospital that they had set their hearts on. Good luck to all teachers who have kids with different abilities in one classroom but the same tests and same style of learning. Phew many many schools need a BIG CHANGE !
There ! I said it the way I think it ! Thanks to a movie that inspired me to believe in my parenting skills. Where I believe that inspiration and motivation is the only way to have children do well ( mentally and academically) and helping him see plan B, C , D, E etc if plan A does not work for no fault of his. 🙏🏽🌷🕊
Peace & grit to all !
Neeta @ edooism
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